made me smile

it is good and it is awful to let go. 

good because things can get back to normal

 

awful because of this drawning mode. 

The way I thought about you, the way I felt anticipating your pressence, the way I looked for you, gave me thrills. 

The way I wondered what you were doing, and if you were ok, when not seeing you many days in a row. I imagined you laughing and happy with your kids. As I am with mine. And it made me smile. As whenever I imagine you smiling, or playing. 

All of this I am close to letting go.