imi e frica de frica ce vine
din senin, din ghetusul din fata casei
din soarele torid, pe campurile pe care stramosii le stiau fara GPS ca bataturile palmei mainii stangi.
imi e frica de frica din genunchii copilului meu cel mai mic
imi e frica de frica lui, sa nu fie mai puternica decat iubirea care il inconjoara.
frica ma ajuta pe mine sa il ajut pe el
echo de menos
a ese primer momento que vi tu calor
y tu passion que esta con migo algun dias
y la seguridad y la curiosidad que tu presencia me da
no se por que
este fuego que ni con hielo ni con agua
se para de llenar mi alma.
time
has passed since my first dream of you
came with no warning
a kiss in a dream
it awaken something in me
something I never looked for
but it added layers to my heart
layers of desire
of care from a distance
layers of guilt and of vulnerability
vulnerability I never wanted to build
vulnerability that taught me about a deeper meaning I was already looking to understand
my heart still trembles like a dragon in the ashes of that first dream.
I was borned from the mountain of desire or faith or how people call it from Athos.
I got to be one of the many citizens of the court of Mary, but when she got expelled from the mountain she took me with her, in her right pocket.
I got to be held by saints, by ordinary woman, by powerful man, even by woman that sold their soul, and sometimes their body.
I got to know the world, and especially people by their colors
and if their colors were dark, they would never be able to hold me
as I am the one of the small stones from the originary carvings.
I choose who can hold me, for a second or more.
I travelled the world many times, but I stopped when got to be held by a man, a contradictory man.
I saw his many colors his many words and his steady feelings. I choose to stay.
Then for one day or 2 I chose another with the colors of the Sun.
One that had all the potential, all the internal strength, which had amazing colors.
I got to bathe in this colors and almost forgot about my purpose. I remembered the steady one and decided to return.
My path is long, maybe never ending.
