regret

goodbye I had hoped I would earn with no regrets

but was not possible 

as actions can not be erased in the sand 

actions that offend, or that try to force 

no matter the reason, or the need behind 

no matter if I said sorry, no matter if I felt it 

still I regret it and most probably always will. 

esarfa infasurata in tristete

o esarfa mi se aseaza pe umeri

peste esarfa o tristete ca un kettlebell mult prea greu pentru a fi ridicat, 

sau carat pe umeri 

o tristete pe care am evitat-o scriind mult prea mult, cu un sens doar de mine inteles

o tristete pe care am tot dus-o la fundul paharului de cola cu rom 

dintr-o seara de toamna 

intr-un oras strain, 

in care te chemam inca, 

in care te asteptam inca. 

mi-ar fi placut ca peste esarfa mea sa se asterne furie, dar nu. 

e tristete si un inceput de dor. 

escaped words

so many words escaped my being 

to reach you 

shared my feelings, my truth and my reality through them

never expected reciprocity 

but never expected you not to be able to look inside my eyes ever again.

paintings in my imagination

painted a whole world from head to toe on your body

a lake where I could swim naked, was painted on your back

embraced silence and laughter as mountains and fire pit on your cheecks

light and darkness, sun and moon, on your tummy, both would have taken my small feet to protect, one from darkness, one from too much light. 

on your chest only a door I painted. 

A door to open when you miss me. 

resignation

there is a resignation of actions 

of words, especially written words

there is a resignation of emotions

that should have never been confessed 

there is a trembling heated fever 

in my body to bring at the departure gate 

no goodbye 

no dialogue, only monolog

no argument, only silence  

no emotion, not a confessed emotion

a strong pain in front of all of this resignations. 

warm stubborness

to caress the shoulders of your stubborness 

to warm its broken pieces

to lift it when it fells into sadness 

to tickle until it is able to let some parts of you free. 

dancing in the rain

dancing in the rain 

alone 

looking in your eyes from a distance 

knowing you will never dance with me 

still not able to pull my eyes away. 

dancing in the rain 

with a freedom I cherish 

that allows me to be as I am 

not good, but not bad 

beautiful when I dance 

passionate and rezilient 

dancing in the rain

if I would have fallen 

I know you would have caught me.