I remember one moment
years ago
I got into a bus
and my heart stopped at the first station
it got out inbetween Coventry and Birmingham.
It took her a long time to find me after this.
She found me working out in a gym in Leeds, running on a treadmill and just when I was looking out the window I saw her.
She said finally you are able to take me back.
half awake.
It was an inevitable end.
End of love.
End of the knife.
End of my innocent being.
sau poate in paralimbaj ce am simtit exista si nu se poate regasi in sine niciodata in limbaj.
Si ma bucura si ma intristeaza.
Caci nu exista. Caci orice e neasumat exista si nu exista de fapt.
paralimbaj
intr-un limbaj
efemer si punctual
intrinsec si nonverbal
extins si totusi restrans
intr-o sala de dans
figura de final
al unui ceas banal
intr-o conversatie cu sens
intr-o situatie confuza
nestiind nici ce, nici cum
doar simtind mult din tot
si putin din nimic.
pare ca imi spui ca in paralimbaj
gasesti mai mult decat in cuvinte aruncate in plic
niciodata certitudine in paralimbaj
vorbim totusi de perceptie,
al intelectului pavaj
sau paralimbaj.
in the sun
my face is red
in the sun my lips are melting
in the sun my universe gets to unfold
in the sun, in my mothers backyard
I get to drink red wine, read easy books and
think about what I am trying to seal.
This feeling
has the right to be unfolded in the sun.
You do drive purpose. Just I think you need to feel the impact of your own presence.
One more step out of comfort zone that you are ready to make for a while now
Will become and overcome some of the rocks you carry with you.
in my light there is always shadow
in my light there is always the reverse of lighting
in my light there is always a route of love
and of faith.
in my light, my kids were born and they are raised.
but they may carry my invisible shadow as well, until I am able to bring light across from past to present.
when it is a matter of will.
nothing else but will
will always finds ways to make it happen.
when it is a matter of desire
of connection or of disconnection
it is a long way
to really do or undo what the heart sets.
Early morning the lady of the castle called her mistresses.
In the first 3 months of the year I could not leave this space. My heart was waiting.
Today I raise the clowds above
I whisper to the wind and the clowds turn on eachother
Swirling and fighting, pieces of their effort gets dissipated into the dark
Heavy rain starts in the middle of their encounter
The lady danced in the garden in her white silk dress with her hair raised above her soft shoulders, on which she guarded the sun and the waves of her heart.
She danced a wild dance. Her feet cried. Her smile froze.
The sky opened. The castle was flooded within a blue light.
Her eyes looked for his presence. Her hands drew his smile in the dissipated pieces of the dark.
She took that smile and touched her waves. Her shoulders shivered, her body trembled and her knees were upon the ceiling as the wind shattered all that was to be shattered.
Still at the end she kept his blue and his smile.
In my quiet moments
I get to reflect
and every time I decide to be easy going
not complicated
just simple straight forward nothing else then what it is in plain sight.
But no.
I am full of layers and layers of desires, of round passion, of courage and of responsibilities and some hurt.
In my mind stories are born every day
On my lips words of kindness and growth
In my heart is not easy to enter and not easy to escape.
when I write to you I feel guilty
although there is nothing I write about to feel guilty.
I feel guilty because no matter where I am I would give you parts of my time and a little bit of my space.
If I am too tired to fall asleep,
If I would have called you again in the evening, just to hear your thoughts.
If I know I already may miss you for the days that passed and the days to come.
