node of friendship

the node that trembled 

in your presence is unfolded 

lasting friendship

there was once a little girl, with big eyes, big feet and big hands. 

she was my best friend. 

not because we were the same. 

actually we were almost opposite. 

she very tall, very sporty, very inclined to do things in a certain high rithm

myself small, with small feet, inclined to take my time to observe the world 

we became friends by mistake, or by chance, or for whom believes in destiny, because it was meant to be. 

we used to have the conversations

that would guide our adulthood young lives

we used to challenge day to day mediocrity 

each of us through it's strengths. 

but we have never hidden our vulnerability 

as this is what true friends do. 

Share a little or more parts of their soul. And light the way when the other needs a light on. 

She told me once- you are the family I chose. 

If I know something for sure it is that we will always find the road less travelled, or we will shavel our way into a new road to get to see each other. 

to my Giul. 

dance of the elephant

your portrayed thoughts on the wall that cuts in half my reality. 

with no purpose. 

to no extent. 

My intuition is lost on that wall 

an elefant in a grocery store. 

Too big to fit. Too enclined to dance. 

I can't trust my elefant's dance.

I can't trust its movement momentarily into the world, or on your wall. 

Keep this wall high, as you seem to need.

To play hide. No seek. 

I will put my elephant to rest on my right arm. 

Will find a way, in the end. 

When his music will not be played, 

the dance will surrender to this silence I started feeling. 

comitment

comitment to my family 

comitment to my day to day 

comitment to ideas, which grow the

mind and spirit. 

comitment to my little universe. 

thoughts in a dream

waking up lacking the ability to shake your presence out of my dream. 

waking up haunted 

almost certain your thoughts are close by 

almost certain they have this power to penetrate the limbo inbetween reality and dream. 

your thoughts that I do not know. 

your thoughts that I most probably portray, 

I carry their image, but your real thoughts no. I do not know 

Wherever they go

and seek to be whole. 

Zmei

Crestele muntilor danseaza la rasarit

Intampinate de Zmeii lipsiti de clavicula,
lipsiti de gen si de colagen alungati sa traiasca dincolo de Carpati.
Zmei ce cauta si azi secretele impaturite printre nori ale zeilor de altadata.
Cand le gasesc o data
la 100 de ani la amiaza
se gudura si se mira, se arunca in cer si isi dau drumul in gol.
O poza de amor.

Isi pun secretele gasite intre dinti si le mesteca bine.
Si atunci la poalele muntilor cate o padure se naste.
O padure uitata de timp.
O padure nascuta din dragostea zmeilor pentru tot ce era o data atins doar de razele soarelui. 

whale

seeing the layers kept in the middle of my blue ocean

seeing the insides of this unthamed whale

my eyes gamble in the dark
they put as a wager my lips

sometimes red and many times rose
my brown eyes throw the dices
near my right soul. 1-1
my lips are sealed by a dream kiss.
my left hand sided soul raises the stakes
my eyes fight to keep their light open
they gamble again, but rules are rules
they need to raise the stakes.
Dices fell near my neck.
There is a leftover red spot that my mother will catch with her eagle eye in the morning.
4-6
again. My lips near your right ear as they tremble for a moment, a secret from the past comes your way. I touch your ear lobe and I hear metalic gates opening deep inside your body.

The bruises dissappear with every encounter. 

The whale flyes to her bed in the morning. Her mother will also check on her. 

near the sun

walking towards the sunset 

my eyes become empty in the sunlight 

walking more than my small feet can handle

embracing the sun's first layer 

walking towards the little joys 

of time well spent 

near a castle, near a river, near a tour, 

near a mountain, 

or near the sun. 

vulnerable voice

I keep thinking about how I reacted. How much I exposed myself 

how vulnerable I have been and still am.

I keep thinking I over felt 

over experienced and over crowded feelings that were never to be expressed. 

I keep thinking how it got me 

inconsistency, guilt

it got me absence, silence and awkward moments. 

I keep thinking I should not be as honest as I am many times with people I care about.

I keep thinking my voice should be, but not up to the moment where it struggles. 

If it struggles it means 

it should stop talking. 

Between Coventry and Birmingham

I remember one moment 

years ago 

I got into a bus 

and my heart stopped at the first station 

it got out inbetween Coventry and Birmingham. 

It took her a long time to find me after this. 

She found me working out in a gym in Leeds, running on a treadmill and just when I was looking out the window I saw her. 

She said: finally you are able to take me back. 

half awake. 

It was an inevitable end. 

End of love. 

End of the knife. 

End of my innocent being. 

gods

gods from my past 

gods I burried and still they came back 

gods who feed on guilt and on anger 

gods I used to unname, untouch and drive pass them in the highway of my thoughts

gods who know about the lowest moments of my life. 

gods with whom I need to make peace 

reversul paralimbajului

sau poate in paralimbaj ce am simtit exista si nu se poate regasi in sine niciodata in limbaj. 

Si ma bucura si ma intristeaza. 

Caci nu exista. Caci orice e neasumat exista si nu exista de fapt. 

paralimbaj

paralimbaj 

intr-un limbaj 

efemer si punctual

intrinsec si nonverbal 

extins si totusi restrans 

intr-o sala de dans 

figura de final 

al unui ceas banal 

intr-o conversatie cu sens 

intr-o situatie confuza 

nestiind nici ce, nici cum 

doar simtind mult din tot 

si putin din nimic. 

pare ca imi spui ca in paralimbaj 

gasesti mai mult decat in cuvinte aruncate in plic

niciodata certitudine in paralimbaj

vorbim totusi de perceptie,

al intelectului pavaj

sau paralimbaj.

 

unfolded in the sun

in the sun 

my face is red 

in the sun my lips are melting 

in the sun my universe gets to unfold 

in the sun, in my mothers backyard 

I get to drink red wine, read easy books and 

think about what I am trying to seal.  

This feeling 

has the right to be unfolded in the sun. 

one more step

You do drive purpose. Just I think you need to feel the impact of your own presence.

One more step out of comfort zone that you are ready to make for a while now

Will become and overcome some of the rocks you carry with you. 

doors of my heart

I have almost closed the doors of my heart. 

it hurts, but it needs to be done. 

35.5

I took with me the memory of your smile

I keep it in my pocket

sometimes I touch it, 

just to be sure it is still there.  

It dingles and it tickles. 

I take with me your tone of voice 

especially the one you use when we are alone.

I keep it near my feet, to hide it. 

And then it gets to be a 35.5.

light

in my light there is always shadow 

in my light there is always the reverse of lighting

in my light there is always a route of love

and of faith. 

in my light, my kids were born and they are raised. 

but they may carry my invisible shadow as well, until I am able to bring light across from past to present. 

 

a matter of will

when it is a matter of will.

nothing else but will 

will always finds ways to make it happen.

when it is a matter of desire

of connection or of disconnection

it is a long way 

to really do or undo what the heart sets.  

unreachable words

I need to write 

but words seem to loose gravity

written words seem to hit the floor

As these words look for you

but never reach you. 

open doors

you leave the doors open

so nothing to be misunderstood

reluctantly arrive 

in a doorstep 

you see my smaller eye that took something from my hands, or from the train I travelled in. 

you talk and I listen

no misunderstanding from my part. 

hugs for a mother

for a mother there is one moment in the day, 

early morning when her kids are just waking up

and they give this hug that makes all the other hugs in the world feel small. 

This hug that has the power to change the world. 2 little hands in an embrace of a mother's soul. 

one of the most amazing things in the world

blue light

Early morning the lady of the castle called her mistresses. 

In the first 3 months of the year I could not leave this space. My heart was waiting. 

Today I raise the clowds above 

I whisper to the wind and the clowds turn on eachother 

Swirling and fighting, pieces of their effort gets dissipated into the dark 

Heavy rain starts in the middle of their encounter 

The lady danced in the garden in her white silk dress with her hair raised above her soft shoulders, on which she guarded the sun and the waves of her heart. 

She danced a wild dance. Her feet cried. Her smile froze. 

The sky opened. The castle was flooded within a blue light. 

Her eyes looked for his presence. Her hands drew his smile in the dissipated pieces of the dark. 

She took that smile and touched her waves. Her shoulders shivered, her body trembled and her knees were upon the ceiling as the wind shattered all that was to be shattered. 

Still at the end she kept his blue and his smile.  

complicated woman

In my quiet moments 

I get to reflect

and every time I decide to be easy going

not complicated 

just simple straight forward nothing else then what it is in plain sight. 

But no. 

I am full of layers and layers of desires, of round passion, of courage and of responsibilities and some hurt. 

In my mind stories are born every day 

On my lips words of kindness and growth

In my heart is not easy to enter and not easy to escape. 

shared time and space

when I write to you I feel guilty 

although there is nothing I write about to feel guilty. 

I feel guilty because no matter where I am I would give you parts of my time and a little bit of my space. 

a moment in time

a tender kiss 

a kiss that needs no introduction 

a kiss that would ignite my being 

a kiss I waited for, a while ago 

a kiss I abandoned 

a kiss that I dreamt about 

a kiss I buried on a bench in a park

soft at first, exploring 

then growing the pace as if it would hook our spirits into a dark matter explosion.

uncommitted and full of desire

just a moment or two of tenderness. 

a kiss to remember

unreliable feelings

I feel your thoughts 

mid day and every other early morning

it may seem crazy and strange. 

my imagination 

is running wild into the sun 

running against the undeniable facts

forecast and light

the forecast for year to go 

is harder to explore

not as simple as year to date

usually it is linked with my heart beating a little faster when hearing your voice 

other peaks on every 7th of the month 

as 7 now is a number that got inside my walls.

it is linked with wonders and questions 

and damaged impressions

the forecast for year to go is unimaginable 

although

my soul still donates to the sun 

a trembling powerful light of different colors 

no expectations whatsoever for year to go

only a trembling beautiful unapologetic light that I can not control yet

as much as I have tried. 

yellow flowers

my space is full of yellow flowers 

of red roses and spices

of little hands and huge hearts 

of boys just learning to be boys 

my space is full of little paws 

of pink hair and nude nails 

of white memory stones and books and paintings

and bags bought to be kept in feelings of youth inside its layers. 

if

If I am too tired to fall asleep, 

If I would have called you again in the evening, just to hear your thoughts. 

If I know I already may miss you for the days that passed and the days to come.