first time in my life

first time in my life I see through skin 

first time in my life I wonder about where I am

first time in my life I question my reasoning

I question my feelings 

I question my emotional distance 

I question my truth and my principles 

first time in my life I am in the middle of the sea 

not looking at it from the distance 

but exactly in the middle 

of family life, my duties, motherhood and work 

and what is underneath. 

The uncertainty.