paintings in my imagination

painted a whole world from head to toe on your body

a lake where I could swim naked, was painted on your back

embraced silence and laughter as mountains and fire pit on your cheecks

light and darkness, sun and moon, on your tummy, both would have taken my small feet to protect, one from darkness, one from too much light. 

on your chest only a door I painted. 

A door to open when you miss me. 

resignation

there is a resignation of actions 

of words, especially written words

there is a resignation of emotions

that should have never been confessed 

there is a trembling heated fever 

in my body to bring at the departure gate 

no goodbye 

no dialogue, only monolog

no argument, only silence  

no emotion, not a confessed emotion

a strong pain in front of all of this resignations. 

warm stubborness

to caress the shoulders of your stubborness 

to warm its broken pieces

to lift it when it fells into sadness 

to tickle until it is able to let some parts of you free. 

dancing in the rain

dancing in the rain 

alone 

looking in your eyes from a distance 

knowing you will never dance with me 

still not able to pull my eyes away. 

dancing in the rain 

with a freedom I cherish 

that allows me to be as I am 

not good, but not bad 

beautiful when I dance 

passionate and rezilient 

dancing in the rain

if I would have fallen 

I know you would have caught me. 

vivid

I sent you a picture of my soul 

a woman soul 

full of contrasts 

of vivid emotions 

of hard and easy stains of life 

if you look close in the left part 

there is a door, behind that door there is the mark of your presence. 

playing with your smile

in my dream I played with 

the extreme corners of your mouth

when going for a smile

with your eyebrows when they get angry 

with your words just as they slide out

I played with your scent 

with the way you drink whisky 

with your hand that sometimes is shaking 

with the other one too. 

with your secrets and with your truths 

with the layers of your being, up to the moment you fell a sleep. 

with your stubberness was a pleasure to play, to quarell, to rezist her and her unrezist me. 

only for a second, in a dream. 

undesired emotion

emotion filled with an incredible warmth

let it disolve in the acid of silence

let it break into thousand pieces and shatter the earth.

fly to the highest mountain

undress its layers and stay naked there on top of the earth.

cry a name out of its core, 

cry it out as it should not be there.

can it carve it out? 

a simple name outside its emotional being, like a statement made to the gods, 

I shall not connect to this pole, this route again, this name I long to, this soul I feel. 

let it cut it out. Like a rose that is sick. 

let it make it hurt less.

or just bring upon itself acceptance of the wise, 

not passionate women or men.