duminică, 19 februarie 2012

testimonialul de ieri

testimonial al vietii mele trecute
scris cu litere mici dar groase 
intr-un caiet potpuriu de ani si de vise
testimonial de ieri ce e azi. Si incepe asa 
" Copilita fara minte- actul 1, scena 2- decor de iarna, blocuri comuniste, leagan pentru copii" Tineri cocosati, cu pistrui si cosuri dar frumosi in felul lor se uita inspre leagan. Zambesc, ea plange. el plange. pe o banca. Nimicul ramane nimic. " 

Testimonial de azi ce e ieri
"Copilita fara minte -actul 3 scena 1- decor de iarna, in spatele acelorasi blocuri comuniste, langa leganele daramate de ani, stau doi tineri, frumosi dar urati in felul lor. Se privesc unul pe celalalt. Se stramba si se joaca. Se intrec in frici de viitor. Se leagana ei caci leaganul e cazut. Danseaza si se pupa. Pupaza se inchina si nimicul se rasfrange asupra lor ca un firisor de praf ce se arunca asupra cui ii place si nu cui se cuvine. " 

Testimonial de viata. Un ciclu de fapte marunte. Un ciclu de emotii mari. Un ciclu de scrieri cu litere mici intr-un caiet potpuriu caruia sa ii zicem amarillo si pe care sa-l contrazicem cu fiecare nou testimonial care ramane la fel un ciclu de fapte marunte si emotii mari. 

Refacere dupa chipul si asemanarea ta

linistiti fulgii se cutremura la atingerea geamului aburit. 
linistiti cateii se alearga in parc sugubeti si plini de viata
linistiti curentii se invart in jurul meu si ma trag sub apa

nelinistita tu, Cea ce erai demult de te strecori sub haina mea de catifea
linistita eu Cea de acum de ma lepad de haina de catifea
nelinistita tu ma ajungi din urma, m-ai dezbracat de haina, m-ai salutat in zbor si ai incalecat pe-o sa

nelinistiti sunt fulgi ce imi cutremura pamantul 
nelinistiti curentii ce ma mangaie razand
linistita tu caci m-ai refacut dupa chipul si asemanarea ta
nelinistita eu de ieri intalnita azi sub haina mea de catifea 

vineri, 10 februarie 2012

cheated_ admited_ but what if?

A lady came up to me today - she told me she was slovenian she was having trouble in my country, she told me she was mugged. She told me she has no place to stay tonight and she has only a car. She told me she was all alone in a new country. In a word in a new way she was trying to cheat me- to make me give her money. I knew that from the minute she started speaking but what was the wonder that really made me give her something- not at all what she wanted- around 20 euros, but something around 2 euros was the fact that she made me doubt. I am almost sure she was cheating. She told me nowadays people are not people anymore.. I tell them my story - slovenian girl that comes to help some cause in development- something about cancer... because people are always afraid and they are right to be, of cancer. And then she told me all this things.. probably made up about the fact she was mugged. Nevertheless I gave her money. Why? because of the maybe element. I could not be sure she was not telling me the truth. Could i have risked leaving with good faith a young girl with no money, no nothing ... just going around Bucharest. It;s more than possible.. she may have tricked me, but the "may", the doubt if i would not have tried to help in a way or another would have stayed with me forever. 
So I sayed- better to be cheated of 2 euros than to be indifferent and become earlesss to people's pain. I could not risk it..i could not risk not helping her.. at least in a very very small way. I was cheated. I know, but what if?