sâmbătă, 24 septembrie 2011

loosing some bits and pieces in my hand writing.

A good friend of mine, not long ago read my " hand writing". Everybody would say - its absolutely normal every time you write something somebody will read what you wrote. However this friend read more. He told me when we were at the Sea Side-imagine a sea side without people staying and waiting for the Sun to turn, a more atipical sea side, the type that you find only in the UK, anyway..we were there, because we wanted to drink beer, to play "hunters and ducks" and especially we wanted to celebrate and surprise one of our good friends- it was her birthday and she is scared of birthdays... staying there.. he told me, that when we get home he will read my writting. I said... what? why? I am just curious to see if it fits with what I know about you. I thought he is joking, I know people that read cards, or in coffee or in tea leaves- but this is just "magic" is not science how he sustain this "hand writting analysis " is. Of course we got home ( we were also flat mates) and both of us forgot about this... however I remembered the day he left.. that day I remembered to ask him for this little thing, that after all it was big. He read me, he read pieces of me he was not supposed to know, or to guess. He was accurate and serious about it. He did not joke ( although he tends to joke all the time sometimes sucessfull sometimes not as much:P) and he told me that I tend to look towards the future- he says from his point of view its a good thing, I try continuosly not to struggle too much with the past, but what can I do when the future hurts, cause I realise I can't have any control on anything- I just think I am in control but at a closer look I realise actually this is the spot for being in control, that went wrong, the sales decreased and I am fired from controlling the spot, the emotions or the future it self. Control is just an ilussion we set, cause we are to scared to live, or to deal with the challenges, so then we put rules and regulations and limits and all kinds of boundaries not only regarding our future but our present and our whole life. Control is for people that want to feel strong, powerful, that need power, maybe we even crave for it sometimes. We exercise a certain control over small things, if we are lucky. However, we exercise so little control that looking at the big picture this is scary - to see how tiny you are on that map, and how you move from interesection to intersection, looking for something to hold on, to be in control of, the majority of us will never find that intersection where we can just swear- this is the good way, even if we have our hand writting analysised- the feeling is similar, somewhere there in all those emotions my friend read, I was lost. 

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